We did our first family outing to the Spur last night. And, I must say, it didn’t go too badly. We did run up and down checking up on the kids, mostly because you never know how much mischief our children manage to get up to in a matter of seconds, but all in all, not a bad night.
The girls were also awake between 1h00 and 3h30 this morning. Grrrr. Hubby had Mignon in our bed and I had Isabel with me on the bed in their room, but to no avail. They eventually settled down with some help from Mr Ponstel. Hate me if you want for feeding them medicine, I don’t care.
Then I would like to share some not-so-happy news. I recently did this post about 2 women that are ill with leukemia. I am very sad to say, L passed away on Friday after taking a sudden turn. This has played on my mind the whole weekend and it is really, really sad that this young person has been taken away from us.
A colleague asked me an interesting question of Friday: how do you deal with grief? She is Muslim and I have always thought the way that they bury their dead before the sun sets is actually not a bad thing. It forces you to accept the loss a lot quicker.
I find comfort in action. Organising, staying busy, anything but dealing with the actual feelings until I eventually break down when it is close to me.
How do you deal with grief and loss? Have you ever lost anyone very close to you?
I’ve also always thought a quick burial is better. I’ve too often sat around in limbo waiting for a loved one’s funeral. The only thing is, waiting a few days allows time for family members from far away to come to the funeral, so I suppose there are pros on both sides. Sorry to hear about your friend’s death.
I have been very lucky and have not really lost someone very close.
But I suppose I am usually fine, when there is still some things to do, but as soon as the dust has settled, I usually have a day or two, when I will be very sad and down!
The thing that I remember best after Zaan died was the numb feeling. I didn’t feel anything. The shock was too much. Some things made me aware like the funeral, but for the most part we were very calm. It’s only when it really starts sinking in that you have to deal with it. Keeping busy also helped me a lot. I had the other two to care for. Also writing about it has really helped me cope. Crying about it when you feel like it also helps (for me that was usually while driving to and from work)
keeping busy and crying a lot, talking about it when I felt like it, sitting in companionable silence when I didn’t. Just to let whatever emotion needs to be expressed, come out. Part of grief is the denial, the disbelief, the anger, the sadness, all before acceptance.
Big hugs to you xxxxx
I like Mr Stopayne – sometimes they need to get their rest too, and that’s a last resort, but it works!
Sorry to hear of L’s passing. So sad. Dealing with grief is something I haven’t had to do for a while – not since we’ve had kids, so I could have a different way of dealing when the time comes. In the past, I’ve always remembered the person by looking at photos and listening to music that brought back good memories, but made me cry. I find crying is very good therapy for me!
I lost 2 brothers and my mom in a period of 2 yrs.(Feb 2007 to June 09)the only mistake i made was acting like everything is ok while inside the pain was/is too much for me. I cry silently everynight and i feel depressed, the bad part of it is no one sees how unhappy i am, as when i am with friends and family i look ok. and my hubby just doesn’t have a clue about the pain i am feeling. loosing someone close is really hard and painful …
I am so sorry about your friend’s passing. Sucks big time.
I tend to find comfort in keeping busy. The crap thing about this is that it builds up and then one day I will just completely lose it.
Hugs…
xx
so sorry about your friend 🙁
I normally remove myself from everyone and grief alone..
lots of hugs
xx